FEAR AND LOATHING IN NOVAFFL: My Nonamers Habit

By. Dr. Anne Gonzo, January 29, 2007 WASHINGTON, DC--

Some people called me a fool for betting the No-Namers to beat the Brisco Hawks this weekend, and they were right. It is true I bleed No-Namer maroon on some days, but I am not ashamed of it like I was in December when I was trapped in the nasty habit of betting on the No-Namers every week like some kind of helpless junkie. This addiction is still with me to some extent, but it is getting a bit more painful since the season started 4 weeks ago.I was convinced they were the team in NovaFFL after watching them during pre-season in December. Teams cowered in their presence. They created defenses to contain their crafty quarterback, they created ways to avoid Gene and Joe on both sides of the ball… but not anymore, Bubba.

Perhaps the time has come to give up gambling. What? No. That would be impossible… without gambling, I would not exist. But it is time for the No-Namers to turn their team around, or risk spiraling out of control and suffering an ugly mutiny.I’m willing to write off almost all the games the No-Namers have played as inconsistency, rather than fraud. Their previous play was damn near perfect, and they did not take long to “mature”, as they say. My delicious habit of winning bought me a brand-new silver and red 650 BSA Lightning, the fastest motorcycle ever tested by Hot Rod magazine. But I’ve never seen Gene not get a sack, and I’ve never seen Jason up and lose the ball into the arms of the defense on one of his Ron Mexico-esq scrambles. This game on Saturday put me into a terrible coma of grief and loss, which still is haunting me. I feel I have become friendly with the No-Namers, which may not be a wise idea. As Ernest Hemmingway once told the great George Plimpton that it was a bad idea to get to know an active boxer, or in my case the No-Namers, and become interested in their career. Sooner or later the fighter will get hurt in the ring, beaten, and it would be an unbearable thing to see if he were a friend. And every game from here on out for the No-Namers has huge meaning for them, and for me.