Madcap's Power Rankings 27 FEB

1. HAWKS- The Hawks took a casual lassiez-faire approach to the Conquest this week, with Carrot-Top, also known as Saracen showing that he could catch and celebrate on little T.O. Apparently, Ottskie tore his hammy but this injury is likely a ruse by the Pool-Conmen we know as the Hawks. I dont think his Hammy is that bad or---he would have sat out a game. Note, there was an offsides call against Carrot-Top, that took away a touchdown and I dont necessarily agree with that...after further consultation with my moderators--Saracen was warned 8 times about cheating in the nuetral zone--so his penalty was just desert. As a result, the Hawks deserved their punishment. However, in the future and the playoffs all Mods need to refrain from having an Offsides pull back a score. That was one of the mistakes we will receive corrective training on.

Lets talk about the hawks Line, Conquest was able to make some breakthroughs, and as usual the Hawks have more protection when Bri stays in and blocks rather than going out for passes. They decided to use him as the eligible, which worked fine against Conquest--but was perhaps the achilles heal versus the Nonamers. Hawks underestimate Bri's need to play line over TE--but its a tough call considering Bri can catch 40 yard bombs. In the end they will likely follow the former. Finally the Hawks lack of a punter actually hurt them this week, as bri kicked for a paltry 10 yards to give the Nonamers good field position.

Ottskie continues to show why he is one of the best Qbs in the league with touch passes and finding the open man. In the end, even though they lost their second game--a couple of their players are hurt but should be ready by the playoffs. One thing to notice, is that this team has consistency over the Nonamers--and as a result will not be short-changed on that--or their ability to do well no matter what the weather. Some things need to be said about Nighttrain Lane (and his consistent RB ability)---and how some observed that in "dirtybird" fashion he lowers his shoulder into players when he runs, this may or may not be true or intentional as the Nonamers-certainly had their share of rough play. Also one of their players, who will go by "Droopy Drawers" did not intentionally conceal his flags but almost got a 5-yard penalty for refusing to fix them or tighten them up after several warnings. In sum, they are still the best, if you look at their strength of schedule the last 5 games. Team is well organized, but the perilous Hawks are not immune from rule-bending just like the rest of Nova.

2. Nonamers--As many predicted, the Nonamers saw that they are back on the scene, crispy and clean, --whose the Black Sheep? Wheres the Black Sheep..? Not the nonamers. This team saw their full squad minus the Mean gene this week and the first two hat tips need to go to Jason Gentili and BHidd. JG, showed his scrambling and gave the minimal effort needed to throw as well. BHIDD displayed the three-man rushing system that brought the fire down on the Hawks with LegalHit and other monstrosities. Also BH was part of several key flag pulls that prevented Hawk First Downs. Nique showed a twisting reception that he carried in for a TD, whereas Dejesus showed similar adroitness with a rare Jason 30 yarder. Also Dejesus showed his prowess with flag pulling as well. Kaharis injury brought another Nova veteran down this week, and the Olddawgs (TBD) hope he heals up for the summer.

Getting back to the three-tiered rushing system of the Nonamers, the new Cougar GM wonders, if people will start looking for dump-offs to wreck the constant blitzing, take a look at some Tom brady tapes to see how to counter the blitz, make the defense pay for risk taking.

Finally, Nonamers like the Hawks have their fair share of "dirtybirds." Obviously #1 has to be Larry legalhit, who continues to not understand that elbows are out of play. This week, Madcap caught him and penalized him 5 yards for unnecessary roughness for a late hit out of bounds. After several warnings and threats to be sidelined he toned down his rulebending in the second half versus the HAWKS--as the NOVA mods are now watching his ass. Sources say he is a lawyer--so his feigned mystification on what he is doing wrong seems hard for me to believe--but in the end--his eyes showed hints of a child as he pleaded with the old Mastiff in a broken and sad voice: "what am I doing wrong?"

Nevertheless, even with his dirtybird techniques he does bring pressure and adequate blocking. Also, some of you may not have caught it, but the Nonamer receiver "Nique" tends to be rough as well---virtually tackling people with the pourous excuse of "it was incidental"---clearly your tackle of Bri could not have been incidental--on the incomplete pass--or some of the catches--but the lack of an uproar on the Hawks made me contemplate if I erred. Heh, believe it or not I caught jason, with a behind the back wrap-up tackle as well

---Sing, I cant deny it Im a fuckin Ryder--you dont wanna mess with me----Easy on the LBC.

(But then again-----none of you really are giving me any support via my mod style---some of you want me to be active---some are too passive------if we are not active in regulating this shit--there will be brawls-----arguments and breaks in the game, as of now I will continue to Mod the big games when I can-but really Im not going to name the apathetic MODS---we need yall to speak up and get involved, your not just time recorders. Its the team's responsibility to send knowledgable mods, but most of you dont give a fuck and send any old player that comes by via happenstance.

My bad--Im not saying yall are totally in the wrong because this might be just a lack of communication but we need to get this shit straight before the playoffs. Maybe my style needs to be curtailed, maybe Im the fucking Charlie brown with my clock stoppages because I think people delay the game---hell you tell me, Ill stop modding if popular opinion wants it, but I guarantee you this shit will be a haven for cheating. Just my presence and warnings---saw a virtual second half of Nonamers-Hawks with few penalties--so you tell me good or bad? We as mods have to set the tone in the initial 10 minutes. I want to give props to San Fran, myself and AndyBennet for calling some good games in a teamwork fashion.)

3. Cutters--This team drops largely because of a weak strength of schedule. Team consistency, talent and integrity still exists, but something happened this week that was abhorrent, tyranical and repulsive. The Hero of the league "Rick Strawman" resembled a uterus for what he did against the Sixteen Candles, now known as the Chaotic Cougars. I would never stoop to this analogy since he is a true Novaveteran, but the events unfolded like this:



The Candles were short a player, where the Cutters had Nine.

I make a comment to Strawman in a casual and what I thought was a routine decision:
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"Hey Straw, lets put Grover on the Candles or another player on the Candles so you all have something to play for--- seven on seven," asserted madcap.

"Someone can only play if the Candles agree to forfeit right now," Strawman stubbornly countered.

"No Cap, we arent doing it, No Cap," uttered the Real Mcgrath.

[Third Person Mode]

Madcap turned his head in shame to think that the lifeblood of honor and integrity could somehow be jeaporadized by a simple meaningless playoff seeding. How did Straw change, he pondered? What changed from the good old days of shooting hoops in Arlington recreation center....with Straw giving points to the other team even if they fouled him? What a jaded animal is this? Has been converted by the irascible Mcgrath?

Madcap watched on at the horror of inequalities that beseiged the Candles as, in a clear breach of Nova integrity the Diamond Cutters, the former "class" of the league proceeded to play seven on six versus a weaker team. Madcap thought: Is this the Cutters attempt to rub Big Ron's face in the dirt?

After further inspection, Madcap wandered over to the Cutters sideline where he encountered the Latin duo of Antonio and Jorge. Immediately, he looked for their take on the situation.

"Jorge, Antonio, so how do you feel about playing six on seven, knowing full well your team captain demanded a forfeit if any other player on the fields joined the candles, even messy martin?"

"Really, I can't believe he did that" Jorge replied.

"Jorge, what do you think of both Rum and Timmay playing offensive lineman to only one Candles player?" Madcap questioned.

"Yeah Im not liking that too much," Jorge scowled.
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In the end, the Cutters will remain in the Hall of Shame until the man of Strawman origins, publishes an apology for the vertebrae lacking decision this week. We are accustomed to Mcgrath's biased interpretation of roster rules (See Jorge threats in preseason) but for Straw to lead his team with obvious Jorge and Antonio disapproval is hopefully an aberration.


4. Field generals--Yall' may not have recognized it, but I did. The Field generals came to play, and showed that when the weather gets better--so does their speed. Perhaps they should be called the Field torches. This is exactly what Mike Cappello brings to the team, and may be in fact the most improved player in the league. Consider this Mike can scramble and throw cross-field. Billy the Kid is returning to his previous Summer conditioning. What about King Motherfuckin Cong Sinh, single-handily getting through the Maddawg safeties near the red zone. Watch that old dude as he contines to climb up the Empire State Building.



What about the Gadman? Registering Sacks! Also let it be known Mitch did get a sack called back against the maddawgs...which brings up the point, who is blocking him? Also are the FGs trying the BH 3 man rush? Watch for the FGs---can their 3 man rush with Reggie White--bring the heat? Some may think Reggie White is a tard, but I beg to differ, his intensity and effort are incomparable. Sources tell me Roger may be back soon as well as he returns from his alien planet.


5. Conquest-- The Conquest are showing that their run defense is stellar in Curly-Haired dude, Ty, Algie and the Twins combined play. Moreover, Ty continues to improve on the line, capable of pressuring any of the leagues Qbs. However Freight 51 nuetralized Ty, which brings to my statement a couple of weeks ago, that freight is up there as one of the best---(though I did catch him hookin the neck of ty, so Ill be on the lookout for this shady lineman activity) WB and AFAR S too, show consistent and strong DB support needed by other teams. Algie--himself would be better off playing WR than TE as his hands and ability to catch overhead passes are starting to come to the forefront.

However this may be true, COnquest QB situation is fraught with perils. There is no clear leader on this team to make decisions. You cannot have an artistocracy, democracy or oligarchy---when it comes to football. There is one Damn Indian CHief. That's right, only an autocracy prevails in football. So someone needs to step up and make all the decisions. I for one attribute Alis QB position as earned since he is now a Novaveteran---and with that title comes privileges. However, the Twin Jack Frost QB showed he is capable of throwing long and scrambling where ALI sometimes tends to throw low---yet Ali can also twist scramble better than the twin. Either way, this team is doomed for destruction without one person stepping up and making the decisions. Until they grasp that concept they might as well share mouthpieces.

Finally, ALI and WB were moderators this week, and didnt seem to make any decisions. Also, people came up and told me Ali was spinning around, playing with his coat and not paying attention to the game he modded. At first Id like to call them out on that---but we need a clear resolution and vote whether or not we are going to have active or passive modding. Then apply it consistently. Jason, I hope your reading this and put some voting options up there. The league has changed---and passive modding is full of pitfalls. Throw Roger on this team and you have a bunch of moderators who do a whole lotta pocketpullin as the teams degenerate into madness, disputes, cheating and brawls.



6. Maddawgs--Saw an important acquisition this week with bigRon. Madcap may not have really helped this team while injured, so the trade wasnt that bad of an idea. However, Madcap surely brings recruiting power to the COugars. Right now, Madcap allready has on tap some new recruits, including the famed Jabooti from Lebanon. Natural Born Killer/Leaders always have an entourage to call up, and the new leo, though hurt will bring some Thundercats this week.

Anyway, this team is still injured. Grover and Evan are showing up late, Nick (black clad) decided to take a hiatus and may or may not return. Yangster will be out next week. PilotRon is not getting enough time, and the team cannot seem to score in the red zone. They cant punch it in.

It will be interesting to see if BigRon makes a difference to this team at WR/S, but now that the line may be unpredictable---PilotRon without time means--Maddawgs are ready for the kennels. Dont get too comfortable however, AndyB, Grover, Kofi at LB, Colin, Grimmace, may make a comeback when the weather improves---and show signs of life this week.




7. Upper Deckers--Still capable of putting a showing in with lesser, Israel, Mason and Sweatshirt Qb. The loss of Coach D will likely see this team without a leader next week. Hopefully he proves me wrong. The QB should really demand that his WRs block more for him so he can open up the field like Jason does. Perhaps he may want to try some running plays with trips as well. Next week i want to mod an UD game, so as to give them more substance in their power rankings and blog---let me know as I feel you have been underrepresented.




8. Chaotic Cougars: This team is in utter dissarray even as the new GM Madcap tries to organize things. If Del isnt prosecuting a drug dealer---Madcap can only get a hold of him with his 8 phone numbers. In addition, this team does not respond to emails so CUT time may happen sooner than we think. I will only take so much of this lacksadaisickal no winner attitude before I either throw people off the plank or burn the ship down. Im capable of both and will not hesitate. Either way you will see some new faces this weekend.



9. Extraordinairres: Some funny shit happened this weekend, where one of the hispanic players tried to rationalize his team's lack of players with jason g. Perhaps he will enlighten us.

Hispanic Extraordinairre stated, "No forfeito."
JG replied, "What--your not forfeiting?"
"No forfeitio" "No forfeito" the clown repeated.
JG: "Ok, your going to play gotit"

Undele Undele Momma yeehah yeehah. Uh Oh. What's happening Now.... (nelly)

In the back, one could hear these rumblings repeating themselves in a Gregorian Chant, so we should be very aware of the "No-forfeito" curse.

10. Merks--Problem with the Merks, is they cant get over the fact that they have been renamed the merks. I tried to have a decent conversation with these dudes, and they told me they are "Lee Corso's merkins" not the Merks. Too much in life we get hung up on meaningless things ---part of what is ailing this team, is the fact they are implicitly putting themselves under the ownership of a sportscaster who neither deserves or has earned a Novaffl mention. Accordingly, your attempts at social mirroring, are smackdowned by the Mastiff himself and the league. You are now forevor the Merks, or in the alternative "Non-Modding" Jerks.

Save the Drama jerk...niggas straight kill me...talkin bout they come from projects...you aint from compton...studio gangstas (Eazy E Real Motherfuckin gs 1993-94)

To much of the chagrin to Angry Andy, the Merks got their first win this week against the maddawgs, and rumor has it that the Maddawgs agreed to allow the Merks a W if they won. Apparently Dan Tran Thank you Maam' has thrown a Starcraft party. Look for the invites. ***Note how Maddawgs did not accept a forfeit where the apparent class of the League (cutters)---FORCED IT!!!