1. "Cutters"------Two convincing wins again show that the Cutters are a team to be reckoned with in novaffl.com. I beseech you all to look clearly at your hearts and tell me does your team have nearly as much symmetric unity going on? The team enjoys the quintessential gift of team defense as seen with the video clip of Strawman and Jorge locking Bigron the fuck down with a closing down of the left side. Ronman makes a Shakn’bake attempt only to be sandwiched between two diamond-cutting Cutters. This is not to attack Bigron, because everyone knows Del will telegraph his throw to his “brotherman of IFFL League Angryman Ron”, and he will get his stats regardless. But things are beginning to make clear that the Sixteen Candles are akin to Iverson and the Sixers for the past 5 years.
Philly never had a serious shot at an NBA championship because all you had to do was make sure the rest of the team didn’t step up. Cutters made sure of the fact that ron and Del were the only factors. Throw in Radar, a possible candidate for League MVP and the Cutters clearly have a we will outsmart you mentality. Redrum again provided Tommy so much time during some games, the Gunn opted to change his jersey during a series against one of the newbie teams (Merks?), he promptly put some deodorant on then completed a third down conversion, while the Merks D-Line, presumably shit themselves.
The return of Madcap’s power ranking apprentice, Timmay showed he still had some prowess on the line as a receiver/lineman and even Mcgrath showed a lil sumpinsumpin about punt return pwnage. Finally, the Madcap has gathered from a First-Hand Source, that Tommy the Gun, presumably a loyal Cutter, will be taking a job up north---possibly to harken back to his Pittsburgh roots to be with his girly girl. Such a case with force the Strawman pictured above to take reign at Qb---perhaps just as smart as the Gunn, but certainly not in the same echelons as far as release speed. Hmm I wonder will mcgrath be taking some snaps at Qb? Will the Cutters remain the Nova Elites, if Strawman cant play receiver?
2. "Brisco Hawks" ----- “Yall Cant Deny it the Hawks are fucking Ryders, you don’t want to fuck with them—easy on the LBC” is the first lyrical quote that comes to mind as we consider the Hawks and their surprising can of whoop ass they have brought here in nova. Seriously, what is up with the shit, of lateraling to an offensive lineman, and where is the league’s collective support of Madcap’s theorem that “Lineman lateralis” shall not be allowed. This degrades the game of football. Why don’t you all and the implicit acceptance of this Rugby bullshit simply click away from the power rankings right now, -because there is no reason why you should not have backed my ass up on the forums on this. Ok done ranting for now, but I swear to God the Hawks will turn this shit to Rugby with all their options, and next week I predict field goals being kicked while on the move in the proximity of the 30 yard line—as their pirate Qb collectively breaks the ankles of the Cutters (The game to Watch-next Saturday-hopeful madcap will Mod it-or field judge-Ill brush up on lateral rules k?)
Also, the Conquest gave the new-improved Hawks a run for their money this week—and the above video has Athar the Apache S “Hey I have a hot Middle Eastern Wife”—and you cannot touch this----“Cant Trust this” (NWA rap quote circe 1992) with a sack for 20 yards that was pretty sweet. It ain't easy fooling a Pakistani, peace brothers---also Athar S is no longer the Apache Chief, that nickname was pitched in favor of “Musharraf benefactor” that rings sweeter. The Conquest line, seemed to pressure the hawks, but again this team shows playoff poise scoring on a 4Th down----led by the cantankerous Ottskie, perhaps one of the best linemen in the league. If i messed up their names, then screw it, their bad not mine.
3. “Conquest”--- Now, Im going to get a lot of shit for ranking the Quest over maddawgs, on this one considering the Maddawgs beat the Quest earlier in the season---and I hope the team does not question my true blue loyalty. However, we look at the new improved conquest and their calculated total sum statics-composed of Madcap’s trademarked algorithm and we see that Conquest’s potential in using the I am the unshaven “Jack Frost Twin” (ref: Jack Frost wintry children's episode) as a quarterback after they are done playing nicey-nice with AliQB—and we see that Conquest is dangerous. Although Ali played reasonably well, quest needs to know that he just got done on an important business trip, and his ass is rusty. Ok Ill say it. 4 interceptions, Ali we go back along way, known you since April 06-I recruited you---but why didn’t you have the team show up an hour early and run the offense awhile-or was this Theo's fault?
And Theo WTF, play the “jack-Frost” motherfucker twin---and watch your team knock off the Hawks and cutters. Old dude, can scramble and throw long, also who saw that old unshaven twin at the ripe age of 39 years old show that young 21 year old Hawk how to mix it up in the scrum. It is for this reason old man jack frost unshaven twin gets Madcap’s “the shit” award. Good shit, remember when you were 19 he was 1.5 yrs old, sup now Jack Frost? WB is back at 94% and showed his mettle with a punt return TD. Note however, potential disruptions between the Quest, to have communication problems on defense may hurt this team. Note: The always insightful Madcap has more to add on this subject, and to get that information, bribes start at no less than a C-Note. Sorry, but the fucking Quest swore me to secrecy—and even I can’t break my word in the interest of our FAB Power rankings.
4. "Maddawgs"----Are you sleeping, do you have one eye open? Good---because the Maddawgs are back on the scene “crispy and clean” “everyone tried to bitch—tried to rock it –every time I look you try to knock it” (Ref: Black Sheep rap quote circa 1991) Get ready for this proclamation, the maddawgs have the most underrated Quarterback in the league in Shakin’Bak Ron. Throw in the wrecking ball’s new found cardio---Grover Cleveland’s new defensive leadership, the always upsettable, unpredictable troublemaker, but speedy Nardo—“Im a sing while Im lining up on scrimmage--real wierd Ecstasy shit it seemed to me on first thought-Nardo playing on ecstasy?” –and this team is starting to show that Grim the Grimmy grimace can fuck up secondary’s with good hands if not good speed. Andy bennet, will always threaten all of y'all, and Groverb on offense boasting some William and Mary alumni skills is here to stay. Kofi Annan, the middle linebacker, showing that he can add some Maddawg pressure in his new reincarnated form, as a new dog—Kofi the Rottie.
Yes, the Mastiff, you all know as Madcap is injured, but all ye naysayer’s beware-sources say that the 200 pound Bulldog just ran speed 12 on the treadmill for ¼ mile this past week---and when the pack refused to accompany him on his nightly runs through Alexandria-Old Town, protecting the elderly from villains, he showed he may come back to the league with his Bow-Man crew endurance very soon. You can hit the Bulldog square in the face—but like his cousin the pitbull (Nick) he keeps chasing the Rabbit deep into her alcoves of poor Qb field position. He will be back, and with a vengeance no doubt. Sources say he may try corner soon since his legs are at full strength. This team is showing some emergence even though—its overall team defense and speed issues are still a problem.
5. “Sixteen Candles”—This team is emaciated like it was devoured by the Black Plague, and teams have caught onto double team priorities with Del and Big Ron. They need the rest of their players to show up. Clearly, overconfidence has contributed to this team’s fall in the rankings, but they have shown weaknesses in dealing with the nipple-hard-on-facilitating cold and team defense. The team simply does not benefit as much when Bigron goes out for passes.
Granted he is a decent receiver and Del, an easily starting Qb on most teams---the organization becomes self-destructive when their talents are overextended. Essentially, what we have going on is a process called involuntary diffusion. Prime potential cannot be exercised, because of a lack of men. Listen Sixteen Candles, Pickett’s charge did not work, not because of a lack of effort but because of a narrow-minded tactician. Check out Pickett’s Charge on Wiki, to enjoy madcap’s brilliant analogies.
In sum, the candles would be better off handing Madcap a Ben Franklin, to send some soldiers their way. Interesting, a thought occurred, get the Candles another Qb and now all of a sudden, you have Ron and Del both going out for passes, and double threats. Throw in To, threat #3. Hmm madcap’s out loud musings, may have just caused him to bite his tail because his old friend Andy Bennet—the rogue Maddawg, the Hessian canine so to speak—was the first to offer his QB proclivities to the hapless Merks. Will the Candles make a play for AndyQb? Perhaps Bennet will not follow heed like Benedict Arnold Schor and stick with the pack as it continues to hunt caribou. Candles remain ahead of Generals because of a comeback early season win. That inflated their power a bit, but shall not be ignored.
6. “Field generals”--- Case in point, Julius and Sean, two former kick-ass MVPs in the Summer of 2006---used to run roughshod on all of the Nova Veterans. Coast Guard elites—these two athletes seem grounded by D.C’s harsh wintry conditions. Regardless of this truism, the Field generals are primed for upsets with Ramjet, Billy and the new-improved defensive oriented San Fran. Though lacking unity, remember they have good hands and team speed---and the fastest current player, Roger Ramjet. I say lacking unity because this team may not be rotating their line in a utility marked fashion. Fairness my dudes, fairness, or the bulldog predicts insurrections in the near future. Are there rumors afoot—that double agent operations are existing within the Field Generals? Are there two candidates pledging for a return to the Dog Pack? Does the Mischievious Madcap, plan to destroy the Field generals in a DC comic Lutheresque fashion? Again a C-Note is necessary to see the fruits of this bribe.
7. “Nonamers”—This week saw J-Gentili, commit to his lost bet and he did dutifully wear pink. Not much to say about their games because of poor scouting and efficiency by Nova-league in totality. This team is doing the minimum it needs to make the playoffs. If they stay ahead of the final three teams, they could be primed for upsets. A stable line, surprising team loyalty second to none, a Qb scrambler, possibly the best MLB in BH, Dejesus, and capable corners. Either way, this team needs to show it can win in the final 5 minutes.
8. Upper Deckers----Where did Coach D get all his new players? Did he just hang out a sign at the sought after Booz dining hall---knowing full well he could get bored acquisition consultants to play in his reindeer games? Hay Coach D you can bring 30 BAH players, but if they don’t engage in physical training, they are going to suck. My advice start networking onto BAH’s defense contractor side of the house and get some people with cardio skills. Also, am I right and that one of your players got unruly again, perhaps my medication warps me, my bad either way friend.
Smart move on hiring practices, BAH has a cafeteria called the “hottie conglomeration.” BAH—has a little known vice, that it disregards the Civil Rights Act of 1964, and has sexist policies where it hires hot femme fatales over more qualified public relation experts and administrative assistants. In fact, rumor has it that BAH advertises “Conference Planner and coordinator” positions simply to attract hotties. Too fucking cool, now watch the Madcap blow them in and call some of his Gloria Steinem contacts. The Mischief of Magnifico prowess has been known to do such things and announce them before hand in premeditated fashion, not to warn, but to enlighten, and to bank on collective apathy as a mute wake up call.
9. The Extraordinaries----Can the extraordinaries challenge the Upper Deckers, for the 8th playoff spot? Can they pull it out? Bolstered by the Vega brothers, Juan and Julio respectively, if I messed your names up that’s your bad-----and poor communication on the forums, this team is getting better each week. Stay tuned for a critical set of playoff implication games between the Upper Deckers and Extra the following month.
10. The Merks---Newsflash, don’t QB sneak every down. Communicate during the weak and take gifts when you see them. Let me ask you something if someone came to your house and handed you a box of 10 golden rings would you leave it on your doorstep or put it in a lock box. This dumb move on the Merks part only hurt the courageous ‘Dan tran” ‘thank you ma’am” Pelosi Lover Merk---fall deeper into a stupor of Charlie Brown disillusionment. Can we make a collective League decision and give Dan power over the merks, to trade GM and Lead? That’s right, Im advocating subversion in favor of full team rights to Danny boy, the 600 dollar giver to Novaffl. I want an immediate comment from League leaders regarding this issue. This is a leveraged coup det’ tah initiated by the Madcap.
1 comments:
Good job as always Capo
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